as of late i've noticed that for someone like me who hates drama and wants nothing to with it...always some how is consumed by it on all fronts. Its somewhat ironic. But with so much drama going on so many fronts(and i've reached my breaking point as of last night) i kinda just wanna call it quits sometimes because its all so circumstancial and pointless. I apreciate my friends and i love them all and I will always be there for them no matter what, but from an outside perspective it just seems things can be mended so easily(which i know is not the case at all) People just need not to get caught up in all of it and stay grounded because if we dont, we're all just gonna lose our heads and be consumed by it. 

o silly teenage angst and hormones


in another aspect of my life, i've found myself caring less and less about school work. I've found it hard to wake up in the mornings and i'm just completely done with the high school part of my life and want to close this chapter. I believe i'm failing a majority of my core classes and i can care less is the scary part. I truly believe that school has no future for me and i feel i'm not ment to have such a conventional means on living out the rest of my life. I refuse to spend most of my life paying off student loans and only to marry and spend the entirety of my life paying off a house. Thats not something I want by any means and i rather kill myself before stepping into that mold of the stereotypical all american dream life. I do want to graduate and I plan on strightening up my act as of the end of the x-mas break(IE: no more stomping on weekdays....thats probably my biggest problem.). On top of all of this, i find increasingl difficult to live with my parents, more so my father. Why even just now he called me a pot head junky that won't add up to anything like the rest of my friends and graduation day(for those of you who dont know is the day i will be physically removed from my house) is equivalent to christmas for him and cant wait til i'm gone....im sure the rest of them feel the same. I'd run, but i don't have a car. Id care, but i hate them all. O well, just another day in the life I guess. Only thing keeping from going over the deep end are my friends and of course Kristen.

In lighter news, i'm playing in VT tonight with lannen fall and Signal the escape, hopefully we'll party cuz i certainly dont want to come home this weekend. I hope we play a good show because this is a big show and if other wise, i will have a very gloomy holiday. 




PS- I still havent had time to christmas shop....at all. I suck